That Sinking Feeling

I feel wide awake now...all the people i enjoy chattin with has gone off line or are not online. Slept a good four hours juz now..

Today marks the end of a hectic week...a hectic one week break from class. Monday isn't too far away and i am not shouting about it...suddenly i feel like...getting that sinking feeling again.

I just got back from CF Leader's Training today afternoon around 3...and slept till about 7.
I learned and relearned stuff there were important..

1) Invest in the eternal in whatever you do.
2) No matter how much you plan, you better honor God coz it won't won't work without Him.
3) People, especially those who look up to you are easily influenced...so be careful.

We had one massive pillow fight on the first night...on one side was Joash, Mark, Edmund, and me...on the other stood Deric, Justin and Vijay. And the fight involved stratergies right down to brute force.(our rooms were walking distance frm each other). At the end of the day, my team won a hard earned victory after ambushing them and makin a run,,,hahaha..

Now life's back to normal...and the sinkin feeling returns. All the tests and exams....wonder if i can face them again...not in the mood for it..
It's so easy to camorflouge your disappointments with a lot of outward smiles and laughter...but when the lights are out and all your friends are asleep..and the air con is blowin at you...there you are..all alone...thinking about the lost, the suppressed pain.. Evidently a lot of us are really hurtin inside but cover up in every way possible...includin myself.

I guess I can make some of my friends smile while I can...Firstly I don't think Deric's jokes are lame. I it's pretty hillarious at times.
Secondly, i wanna apologize to Joash if i have been sayin all the wrong things about him in my blog.
I think we sometimes go overboard in our jokes and sometimes hurt ppl's feelings...

I still feel abit crappy here..i have an ulser and a sore throat...wish i could complain to someone...there's no one here...i used to be able to complain to someone, and share stuff..but i guess i would be a nuisance if i did..

nitez