Work of Art

I had a conversation with my dad, somewhere over the week. It seems like he noticed that I like to keep a lot of things to myself. Like I don’t tell him stuff…as in he doesn’t know what’s goin on in my life and that I refuse to let him into my projects or my ambitions.

He proceeded to give me an example of how a conversation between us takes place over the phone:

Dad: So what are you doing now?
Jason: Er…something lar..
Dad: What lar?
Jason: Something lar…i’m out with some friends
Dad: Who?
Jason: Got lar…friends.
Dad: Who lar? What’s their names?
Jason: Aiyar…you won’t know wan lar…friends lar…CF people.
Dad: Well, who lar? You having band practice now is it?
Jason: No…I’m in the middle of something. I,,,I…(stupid hp dies coz no batteries)
I know, this isn’t the typical father-son conversation you may know (since some people are so terrified of their fathers, that there’s no friendship involved).

So I told him that he could read my blog to know what’s goin on in my life. Coz I’m not much of a talker lar. I guess I’m the kind of person that will keep stuff and just let it bury deep inside my heart until it spills out before God…or unless I find someone who is close to me. Or maybe I'm just at that stage where I don't want to talk to anyone about anything.

Anyway, dad said that he does frequent my blog from time to time and finds my entries quite depressing at times. But he said that when people feel down, they tend to express themselves in different ways.
I guess for me, sometimes, it’s silence…sometimes it’s in quiet and solitude.
Recently, they say it’s the emo season. What’s that? Why do people find themselves so broken? Is it because we’re all only human in search of true happiness? Because of disappointments?
I have met some people who always say stuff like, “Just trust God, and all will be alright” and all those true Biblical truths. Sometimes I find these people so unreal lar. It’s nothing personal, just that life isn’t perfect…life isn’t as easy as quoting a few verses. but yeah, i am learning to trust Him and cry out to Him.
These statements sometimes, I feel it’s so cliché and fake. Coz God felt pain and loneliness also when he came as Jesus.
Anyway not to tembak anybody or wat lar. No one acted fake with me or anyhtin lar. Just using a general description.

Anyway you know that feeling of just waking up and you feel like S#*%...like arghhh...i hate the world. Sometimes we all get it.
I wrote this song some time ago,based on very down to earth everyday feelings we all experience...some of them evidently my own. You may call it an emo song, but in all the gloom, God is always there shaking us up to the reality of His grace, that we should count our blessings. it's a very honest song.

Sometimes i feel lonelylar...you can still feel lonely in a crowd. Hope i get a chance to share this song in a more pesonal way.

My band calls it the 'gottee' song...

Work of Art
Words and music by Jason Teoh©2005

verse 1:
I woke up today
To the sound of my emotions splashing around
Making all those weird, crazy funny sounds
I stared at the ceiling
Wondering what day it was
Wondering why I’m feeling so left out
Maybe I’m just not popular, maybe I’m freaking people out

Chorus:
I wanna know what’s going on
I feel I’m getting cold, I feel I’m losing ground
But I know that You’ll never leave me
I’m Your precious work of art
And I know You’ll never forsake me
I’m Your precious work of art

verse 2:
I looked in the mirror
Don’t quite like the look of what’s staring back at me
I want to try and change and grow a lil small gottee
Who am I kidding
Trying to be somebody else
Trying to be somebody that I’m not
Maybe I’m just difficult, maybe I’m just not good enough

Break:
Sometimes I feel that I am useless
I’m just not worth Your time
I speak my mind

But You said that You gave up all for me
So that I can be
Your precious work of art
Your work of art