My God Sent

I had a dream last week...an afternoon nap....

I dreamt that i was driving along a familiar road in Melaka...a road i travel almost everyday if i go to campus. It's just before VJ's house, coming down a bridge. It was raining heavily. As i turned into the junction, suddenly my car hit water. It was a flash flood...i've been caught in a flash flood once...my car was slightly flooded, but it was bad enough and scary when you're alone. So, i tried turning the other way round, and downshifted to 1st gear. I could hear my engine roar as i surged through the water. But instead of driving out, i was driving deeper into the flood. As i was trapped, i juz floored the pedal, causing my car to plunge into the rising water. i started panicking and tried opening the window to escape. The water suddenly rose into my car and submerged my 'seat-belt' strapped body as i fumbled around. The water rose till i was submerged. And i felt myself drowning...literally felt the water surge into my nose n down into my lungs, and that numbing ache at the back of my brain...

then i woke up...with my heart pounding heavily against my chest...

I think I need to do some U-turns in my life...sometimes I think that I'll always get a second chance...but will one day realise it's too late. That letter i need to write, that sin i need to repent, that confession i need to make, that talk i need to have, that crap i need to stop...U turns...

Haven't been blogging much, lotsa randoms...been tired, stretched, weary...like too little butter spread over a wide piece of bread...need to do my devotion more consistently...



Had convo recently...miss my friends...not having them around meant eating lunch on my own today...5 years of uni...juz passed by...pacing MMU's familiar grounds surrounded by unfamiliar faces...



Sometimes, things get broken, ppl get hurt...as much as we try and fix them...


they remain broken...they chose to remain broken...we tried our best...to patch up the mess we made in our lives...and in those we hurt...


...so life goes on...*if you have another console*






You can't feel emo when you do kids ministry...it juz doesn't click...*happy*

p/s: you may need groin guards when dealin wif hyper kids...they juz seemingly aim at the wrong(right) places when they throw a playful punch...





I have only one giordano T-shirt...a dark blue one...It's been one of my favourites. I even wore it for the last night i stood on stage wif my PRS slung around me...in HUGE camp concert...i like it very much...



you...
how ironic that our friendship was discovered outside the norm...I think God has a way of putting people into my life at perfect timing and season. All the times we could have bumped into each other but were total strangers...those days. Me shunning people, you in your own world...those days...not anymore =)
Our handwriting frighteningly similar...almost the same, unknowingly.
Similar also are our keeping to ourselves...pensive, pondering, thinking...brooding even...loving solitude yet dreadfully afraid of loneliness...at times...
Yet unlike you, i'm a hopelessly sappy weak knee person...you'r a rocker indie band chick...you rock...lets make this gig work...keep dreaming...i'm supporting ya...
hang in there ok...i'm juz an sms away...
My hp credit runs out faster on talkative days...i don't mind it at all...
thank you for stepping into me..



you...
We were becoming good friends...
but somehow i felt like a door stopper when we finally met...
I admit...i ain't good with words...ain't charismatic...
I don't appreciate being pushed down the pecking order and becoming invisible when those more popular step up. That's not how friends are...it makes me feel stupid coz i take your friendship personally...
bleh...fine...



you...
Thank you for being like a strong tower to me. How ironic...coz u dun look like a tower...hahaha... For always reminding me of the great and good things that God has done and been doing in my life. For always listing out the good things you see in me, that i'm blind to. For forcing me to count my blessings...For showing me how much i can still do for others... For showing me how much our friendship had encouraged you and left its mark. For making our final trimester together the most memorable one before all our friends left...the best study sessions happened in CLC 2009...hahaha...You brought out a good person in me...what little good that is left.
But most of all, for always availing your listening ear to me...though you are hundreds of km away now. Thank you for your kindess and your unreserved words of encouragement to me.

*treasure came in my snail mail today*

I woke up groggy and unsure of the day...till i got your huge dose of care...
Thank you for getting me goin again...your mail is one of the reasons i'm blogging again. You are GOD sent to me today..........
Thank you for being an sms away for me...





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Remember this place?
It's where i learnt my first Cantonese word...when we overhead two girls talking in Cantonese:

girl 1: Hey, what should i order?
girl 2: You can order pieces of shit...

my first canto word i learnt was pieces of shit...

On another day, it was raining and i messed up Electronics 2 final paper...
Yet you walked me across the road, and we came here, gave my back a pat and told me everything would be ok...

and my day felt so much better... =)