In This Little Room: The Dream (updated version with photos)

I had a bad dream yesterday.

I dreamt that as I stood at my window gazing at the sea, for my house faces the Straits of Melaka, me and my cousin saw this tidal wave heading towards the coast. It was a sunny day with birds in the air and the warm sea breeze. But i remember the shape of the grey muddy wall heading towards the coast. Memories of the recent Tsunami entered my mind as we both made a mad rush downstairs to get out. Even as we rushed out of the house, the water had already reached the floor and was lapping at our feet...the first wave...I didn't stop, we both ran out our gate, leaving behind the elderly and some of my family...in our haste and terror we had juz dashed out leaving everyone else. Mum was at work...as I ran towards the main road, i could hear the second wave coming, rumbling...I shouted to my bewildered neighbours who was unaware of the impending disaster, they just looked at me dumbly as I screamed,"Lari, lari...tsunami!!!"...

The next thing i remembered was the entire coast was completly washed out right up to the Tengkera Main road...leaving us helpless and exposed to the wrath of the sea...nothing was left, no houses, no beaches,...just the road, and the sea...I broke down and cried as i thought of my loved ones that I had abandoned in that mad rush to escape...but it wasn't over yet...there might be more waves coming...so me and the rest of the survivors crept as fast as we could along the road. we were on a ledge, like a cliff,,the sea, the road and a wall of stone...we couldn't escape. Then i saw my dad...I remember vividly what i said as we tried to escape...it was something like this, as i wept," Everything that I have is now destroyed, i wished i had lived a more righteous life...what have i got to show God now? my music? my ministry?...they are all destroyed...i'm not ready, i've nothing to show...i have nothing to show..."

Then I woke up...the sun was still shinning, the birds was still chirping. but the images of destruction and everything i had being utterly destroyed lingered in my mind.

Somehow, I feel that maybe God is saying something to me...that I really need to work on the inside parts of me...Worship leading and the Music Ministry is so public and charismatic that sometimes I have no choice but to pretend to be "there" sometimes. But the eternal parts that last are the things I can't see...like character. The quiet times that i need to have, those transactions between my heart and God that i have yet to make...those milestones i have yet to reach... Without these dealings of God, i will just be an empty shell, a poser, a fake...i could write the best songs and played the meanest guitar rifts in the scene...but it wouldn't stand the test of fire(or in my dream, water) without more substance.

I had an awesome time last CF's Praise and Worship. For more of who played what, visit Deric's Blog. But for me, it was again about God coming into the scene again, wrenching the microphone away from me and ministering to His people. I know that worship can bring emotional healing and restoration as well as bringing people face to face with a holy God that they cannot leave without some kind of response. I trust that God had moved and ministered as I felt it myself. I have no glory in this.

These experiences echo what Glen Packiam once said," Nothing beats just looking across the stage, and seeing people just lifting their hands and seeing God move and heal and encourage and strengthen...nothing beats that experience of seeing grace being poured out upon sinners...it's an experience beyond words
(paraphrased)"

My band mates, my dream mates...PG 165

That's why again it has reinforced within me the belief that I am not ashamed to be in a band where we are Christians...when people label PG 165 as the "CF band". Because again and again i am brought to my knees and know that being in that special place and honor of playing for God and seeing God touch people is a privilege and it's worth more than any Battle of the Bands experience...

and yet the real challenge is building the inside of me, the substance...not just the singing or the rocking...those won't last. people may see that, but God sees deeper...what is my ministry? what are my songs? nothing...without Him...nothing of value without something deeper...

some of us were deep in thought...

Now, the real challenge that i am facing,,,us living outside with a changed and renewed life. It's so hard after an experience like last Tuesday to come back down to earth, but i have been taking a few knocks...but to live daily is the real deal.

I'm working on the things that i cannot see, but are of eternal value...lest it is destroyed within a twinkle of an eye.

ps..it's a heavy post...i was really shaken by the dream...
i will post more photos when i get the stuff from Deric...there was such an awesome showcase of good original song writting. I'm really proud of the F.W.O.G band that stands for Fiery Women of God...keep it up girls..than CF needs strong girls...great stuff from Wayne, Deric and Seong.
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posted the above on a saturday night. I went to church the next day and my pastor was preaching about the dead church from REV 3:1-6...how they were most probably a great successful church in the eyes of men...they did a lot of works and were considered ALIVE and had a REPUTATION(vs 1). But they were actually dead "inside".
Works doesn't = obedience or holiness...

Every ministry begins with bended knees...are we on bended knees in our works in the CF or are we just trendy and happening??